IV of Cups Spell
I've everything I need and more
yet here I sit
thinking, sinking
into a past of memories I abhor:
the story I can't quit.
I've shade and shelter,
so much sun I could swelter,
but here I dwell,
pensive, defensive
about a future I can't tell.
I've three cups, filled up with love
never leaving me, looming right above;
however, here I plop,
disconnected, unaffected
feeling empty, only apathy,
and not wanting to stop.
There's a new beginning right in my face
if only I'd open up my eyes to its place.
Grounded in my past and all it's taught,
armed with emotions that are no longer distraught,
I should be ready to start my journey of glee.
I should travel and marvel at all I see.
But that doesn't sound too enticing to me.
I'd rather be chained than free.
I'll just sit here and pout
and scorn the blessings and boons.
I'll worry over all I'm without,
brooding over the broken balloons and the empty harpoons.
The past of my past keeps me anchored here.
I'm stuck on fucked.
My rut's forever mucked
on this island that I don't see as dear.
There’s a new beginning right in my face,
if only I’d open my eyes to its place.
DISCONNECT, INDIFFERENCE, PENSIVENESS
Fours are about strong bones and stability. This can be a negative sometimes, too, if you’re unbendable or unyielding when the best thing is to be flexible. A palm tree looks like it could just break when it gets whipped in the wind, but it’s made to swish and sway with all of the waves and whirls. You’re looking inward so much that nothing around you is getting any notice at all even if it’s special and magical. You’re setting a firm foundation, but in this case it might not be so healthy. You’re surrounded by so much wonderfulness and instead of seeing all that, you’re just thinking about what you’re missing, what else you might need, and what things you’ve lost in the past. There’s an opportunity right in front of you and you’re so chained to this feeling of being stuck that you can’t even see that chance as a positive. It’s just…whatever. The three cups above you are filled and ready to spill upon you but even those don’t look that pretty either. You’re finally at peace on a serene island with everything you need but all you can focus on is not that.
Eight’s Insight: Instead of being bogged down by what you don’t have and what you need, you’re actually in the zone of readiness to go after what’s there. You just need that final push of confidence and you’ll be on your way to seizing that new something that has come your way. You’re finally getting out of the muck and onto softer sand that feels soothing and relaxing between your toes. Or, maybe you’re okay with what is around you even if it’s not entirely perfect because you are starting to understand that things are perfectly imperfect and you are imperfectly perfect, yourself. It’s okay for things to be calm and quiet. Maybe if you grew up in chaos you think you need all that drama, but you don’t. Find peace with the peace. It’s okay to find beauty in all you’ve achieved.