IX of Swords

Cheers to my fears! 
They're all coming clear.
Sooner than I realize,
My nightmares materialize.

Lightbulbs into eyeballs
Rope-climbing, nose-diving
Skin, hiving. 
Heebie-jeebies 
Grandma's diabetes.
Breathing in gas til she chokes
Sneaking in chocolate and smokes.
What a hoax!
False teeth out and about,
chasing us around, it's funny, honey.
Sacred pillow thrown away,
dolls in ovens, so much pain..

Liar, liar, pants on fire...
pants off, girl, now touch it, higher.
Firecracker, firecracker,
rah, rah, raw.
Lift up that skirt,
Open that jaw.

What the fuck happened in this house?
The secrets sneak around like a mouse.

Who's hiding?
Who's seeking?
I'm not looking,
I'm definitely not peeking.

I close my eyes, tight, not tightly.
Pinch myself, am I alive? All's unsightly.
I wish I were dead...
is this madness all in my head?
Sometimes it's hard to separate what I've heard
from what has happened; it's all blurred.
Scary not safe
dead, not awake.

I told her and she said nothing.
I told them and they said nothing.
But it was something.
What I told them was everything.
I told him but he wouldn't stop.
If he doesn't, I might just chop it off.

Trapped in this hell...
It doesn't matter who I tell...
Nobody's listening.
Change the channel.
The static's hissing.

The window is open, but I can't get out.
The rope is curling around my throat, no doubt.
If I escape, if I climb,  I might fall 
onto the troubles that await for me, my downfall.

And, even if what's happening is the worst in the world
I can still just skate and twirl, twirl, twirl...

Forget what I've heard, 
Unsee what I've seen.
Leave it all behind
and let them come clean.

Fires, lies, I'm hypnotized.
Take sides, realize, scandalize.
Perfect childhood, 
birthday parties and French fries.
Swimming pools and Kennywood rides.
Lies, lies, lies...
Fears, 
the great surprise...
Love only existed between my thighs.